Where I’ve been with mommy self-care…
In past posts, most of the mommy self-care I’ve talked a lot about relate to doctor’s appointments. I’ve been pretty good about getting my annual skin checks, mammograms, well-women visits, vision and physical appointments. I’ve gotten my teeth cleaned fairly regularly. I’ve had my colonoscopies and upper GI scopes at the appropriate times. I’ve even gotten tested for sleep apnea, which I have inherited from my parents. I now have a CPAP machine (continuous positive airway pressure). The machine keeps forcing air into my nose and mouth so my airway does not shut down when I sleep and I can rest better.
The three things I haven’t really done? 1) Developed a better relationship with food 2) Be consistent with exercise, and 3) Get at least seven hours of sleep on a consistent basis.
This last year was highly stressful. And in the process of coping with everything, I’ve realized I’m a stress eater. So, It will come as no big surprise when I tell you I’m at my heaviest weight ever. I’ve also had little sleep.
I’m not the only one…
Talk to any mom of special needs kids, and you’re likely to find one that puts her families needs first and she comes in last. We often eat the leftovers off our kids plates (don’t waste food), wake up super early, go to bed super late. We may eat on the run as we dash off to the next therapy appointment. “Me Time” consists of going to the bathroom uninterrupted for five minutes. And after I confessed to one of my girlfriends I sometimes hide in the bathroom for a few extra minutes of peace, she confessed she hides too. (And even when I hide it’s not a guarantee of quiet, because my door doesn’t lock properly.)
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We give and give and give. And then we run dry.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating not giving of ourselves to our spouse and children, but I am asking you to pause today and take a moment for yourself.
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You may have heard the children’s song, “There’s a Hole in My Bucket” by Harry Belafonte. The lyrics are:
A Hole in the Bucket
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.
So fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.
With what should I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I fix it, dear Liza, with what?
With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with straw.
But the straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The straw is too long, dear Liza, too long.
So cut it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So cut it dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it!
With what should I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I cut it, dear Liza, with what?
With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With an axe, dear Henry, an axe.
But the axe is too dull, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The axe is too dull, dear Liza, too dull.
So, sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So sharpen it dear Henry, dear Henry, sharpen it!
With what should I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I sharpen, dear Liza, with what?
Use the stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Use the stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, the stone.
But the stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The stone is too dry, dear Liza, too dry.
So wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So wet it dear Henry, dear Henry, wet it.
With what should I wet it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I wet it, dear Liza, with what?
With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, water.
With what should I carry it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I carry it dear Liza, with what?
Use the bucket dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Use the bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, the bucket!
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.
It’s a vicious cycle…
Let’s do this…
So pause with me today, and find one little thing that will rejuvenate your soul. It can be small like turning your face into the sun, feeling the breeze and just being mindful in that moment. Forget about the dishes, the laundry, the phone calls. Just be in the moment. Take a short walk, even if it is just down the street and back. It will do you good. Baby steps in self-care. You deserve it.