Our Mostly Autism Family
I thought I should post a little longer introduction to us and our special needs / Autism family. It’s a bit too long for the “about” section, so I’ll tag it here. I have six children–four boys, two girls. All four of my boys are on the Autism Spectrum. They are all high functioning and are in regular if not honors classes. We have high goals and aspirations for them. My youngest daughter also has diagnoses.
And just so you know, I plan to write more on our journey with each of our children and their diagnoses.
The Kids:
Firstborn—
Firstborn is a boy, a freshman in college, and has the old diagnoses of Aspergers (Autism) and anxiety. At nine years old, he was our first to be diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum. Firstborn plays in the orchestra and prefers vanilla to chocolate, and classical music to pop/rock. He struggles with perfectionism and the depression that can come when you feel you are not perfect enough. I think he is awesome the way he is. He has had a 504 accommodation for extra testing time mainly because of his anxiety.
Whirlwind—
Another boy, junior in high school, has Aspergers (Autism), and ADHD. Whirlwind has constant energy. When he was younger he had very volatile emotions that could swing from euphoria to anger in just minutes. He still gets frustrated easier than the others and loses his temper, but he’s made enormous strides in his emotional maturity level. He was initially diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). Seven or eight years ago we got his ADHD under control, and he was diagnosed with Aspergers. He takes honors classes and has no accommodations in school. He dropped orchestra to pursue engineering and other STEM classes. I think he could change the world.
Lawboy—
Lawboy is my third boy is a sophomore in high school. He also has ADHD and an old diagnosis of PDD-NOS. (Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified.). The old labels were done away, and he is considered high functioning on the Autism spectrum. He gets distracted easily. Was originally diagnosed with ADD, but has gotten more hyper as he got older and is currently diagnosed with ADHD. He argues over semantics and exact language all of the time.
Lawboy is rigid in his ideas and standards and has an extremely difficult time making friends. He was the last to get diagnosed of all the boys. Music is a big part of his life, and he and plays in the school orchestra. He is quiet and generous-almost too generous as sometimes his self-sacrificing has been taken advantage of by others. I think he is very talented and I could see him going far with his music.
Princess Ballerina—
Princess Ballerina is our fourth child. She loves to sing and dance and unlike her brothers, is not ASD. She chose a band instrument instead of strings to further differentiate herself. In the past, She feels put upon when her brothers take over electronics and will sometimes get whiny, but I am trying to teach her how to stand up for herself. She and I were the lone females until the youngest was born. She’s a good sister to her siblings and has often volunteered to help.
Acroboy–
Acroboy is constantly running, jumping, doing handstands on the couch and climbing things. He had a speech delay–he really wouldn’t talk until he was two–and still has some speech issues. He has PDD-NOS which puts him on the Autism spectrum as well. Additionally he has ADHD. He is super smart and generally happy. He loves soccer.
BabyGirl—
BabyGirl is not really a baby as much as she is a preschooler, but she’ll always be the baby of the family. At nine months I started to get concerned with her physical growth and development. She showed sensitivities to certain noises and didn’t like things touching the back of her neck. She was growing, but at each well visit appointment her weight dropped to a lower and lower growth curve. The doctors diagnosed her with failure to thrive due to a milk protein allergy. We immediately cut any traces of dairy out of my diet, and she found and kept a happy growth curve.
As she grew, she sat up and walked fine, but she missed other milestones like waving, kicking a ball and copying word sounds. She would barely say “Mama” or “Dada”. She cried when we picked up carpool kids and tried to hide her face under her blanket. Then there the sensory seeking behaviors she started. In short I knew she needed help.
I had been through the Autism evaluation process with Acroboy, and I knew how long it could take to get her evaluated. I called our local Early Intervention program and arranged to have them look at her. She qualified for services at that time, but has since graduated from them. She has been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and generalized anxiety.
I will be posting more in-depth about each child’s journey. I haven’t decided exactly how that will look yet, but we’ll figure it out together.
The Parents:
DearHusband and I married 20+ years ago. We met pretty young and started having our kids a few years after marriage. Growing up we were both socially awkward, but as we grew we learned to adjust to social situations. As an adult, I feel comfortable talking to strangers and large groups. Standing in front a classroom was the scariest thing for me when I was a child. DearHusband routinely has to address larger groups and unknown individuals for his job.
The two of us also have coping behaviors. He bounces his leg up and down a lot when he’s nervous or excited. I used to think it was just ADHD related (we both have a hard time sitting still), but I recently read an article that makes me wonder if it is really a stimming behavior. I personally move my feet or tap my fingers slightly in patterns. Is it ADHD coping mechanism or a stim? I don’t know. In any case, we both have extended family with Autism, so it seems we were the perfect storm to get our amazing mix of kids.
Our journey was a slow one. For the longest time we held off telling Firstborn about his diagnosis. When I met my friend Sandra, whose daughter has Aspergers (Autism), she convinced me to tell the kids. It was a positive move for us and the kids have made great progress. We’re just trying our best to be the kind of parents they need us to be.
Thanks for joining me today.